Strengthened Resolve

I have been reading a book that is kinda blowing my mind about fasting. I mean I really thought I knew something about it. But I am getting school. Home-schooled.


Most of the time when I have read Song of Solomon I breeze by certain verses so that my inner mocking machine won't distract my earnest attempt to learn something. But this book has given me an entirely different perspective on the love story found in every single one of those scriptures. But that will be for later...haven't finished the book and I need to think about it a bit more before I have much more to say.

I am getting more clarity on fasting though. It is so amazing that our church is in the middle of the 21 day fast! I am seeing hunger for the Lord like never before in our worship services and His presence has been so sweet and powerful!

Today I had a major moment of weakness. I was standing near a restaurant that was sending out the awesome fragrances of hamburgers, hotdogs, fries...etc..grilled, fresh... And I was drinking some orange green tea blend that tasted like, well, not like hamburger. Later I was driving around and my flesh just made the decision that I was going to go eat. It was determined. I felt entirely out of control and like the choice that I had made in my heart and mind to fast was not important. But even in my weakness, driving toward food, I managed to mutter "Lord, strengthen my resolve."

I am here to tell you that the Lord hears our cries. Immediately I felt like it was less of a temptation, then a few minutes later I was completely over it. So if any of you reading this are fasting and having a struggle getting started or sticking to it. Just ask your Father for grace and He will be faithful to give it to you!

The root of every virtue

HUMANS!!!! (I yell with my fist in the air)
We are so predictable, so needy, so unwilling to bow down low enough in humility to actually receive what we are so desperate for. And I am the worst of course.

"Humility, the place of entire dependence on God, is, from the very nature of things, the first duty and the highest virtue of the creature, and the root of every virtue. And so pride, or the loss of this humility, is the root of every sin and evil." Andrew Murray

I wish I could just copy and paste the entire humility book by Andrew Murray into my head. I pray that one day I can start to see a little humility in myself and less pride. The Word says that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). I think that we have viewed pride as a silly little thing that makes us slightly wrong rather than having a heart position that is in utter opposition to God.

"Humility is perfect quietness of heart. It is for me to have no trouble; never to be fretted or vexed or irritated or sore or disappointed. It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me.

It is to be at rest when nobody praises me and when I am blamed or despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace as in a deep sea of calmness when all around is trouble. " Andrew Murray

If you are searching for peace, look no further.

Today, I want humility. I want it for myself and for my community. I don't want to be in conflict with my Maker. I want His blessing, His peace, and most of all His presence. I want to gaze upon the beauty His holiness...and be completely self-forgetful.

The wounds of a friend...are still wounds

Business: something with which a person is rightfully concerned (Random House)

For many years I lived my life according to the "It's none of your business" model. I don't know if it is because I grew up as a pastor's kid and by the time I was 18 had had enough observations/suggestions/critics to last 3 lifetimes, or if it is because I am simply a human being. But I certainly felt VERY strongly about the matter.

Over time and through God's grace I am learning to not bristle at the opinions of others but to allow them to improve me. Allow them to give me practice at knowing who I am, practice at hearing God on the subject of my identity. I am learning to see the body of Christ as self correcting. It is truely wonderful when we refuse to be offended and instead take the issues we have with one another to God and in love interact in grace and kindness.

I really do not enjoy confrontation. But God loves it. He loves it because He loves us too much to allow our pride to destroy our lives. Sometimes the things that have bothered me most have been very trivial issues which I viewed more as personal preferances. Ex.. clothes, hair, vocabulary, style of music etc... But the Word of God says for us to prefer one another before ourselves...eek!

In the family of God we share our "business." Especially if we say we want accountability and support. I am not suggesting that there should be a free-for-all information swap, but that when a brother or sister aproaches us with a concern we should weigh it with respect and take it before the Lord in the pursuit of truth.

In Proverbs 27:6 it says that the wounds of a friend are faithful but the kisses of an enemy are decietful. However, lately it seems we interpret it as "the wounds of a friend are spiteful, and I prefer to be kissed, even if it is by the lips of Satan himself."

Here it is -- Don't get offended. Don't do it! Even if the person is way off the reservation...respond in love. Your good response will be a blessing to you, and a crown on your head.

"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 27:17

The Steps

It's testimony time. I am 100% better! See, all things are possible to those who believe! So today I had some time with a friend of mine who wanted to learn a bit of guitar. She was picking it up really fast but the process is still the same for everyone...

Step1 Determine to put each finger in the right spot
Step2 Feel awkward
Step3 Strum
Step4 Accept the sound for what it is
Step5 Lift fingers and repeat

As I watched her forge a new path from her brain to her fingers I got all nostalgic remembering the days that I would sit outside on my back porch and play one or two chords over and over again. The awkwardness of learning plus the thrill of creativity is something to be enjoyed! So why am I reluctant to learn?

Anyway, thanks for the fun afternoon J. In the words of one of my favorite people in Greece "You really stringed that guitar good!"

Only Believe

Today I woke up with what felt like a rubber head. Swollen throat, clogged ears- not a choice situation for me on a Sunday morning. But I popped a few vitamin C's and headed out. When I arrived at church for our pre-service practice a few people stopped and prayed for me and I agreed that God could heal me. But to be honest at that point I had more confidence in the vitamin C.

This is tragic I decided. When I started to enter into worship I started to recognize that this is it. This is the issue of my life. Either I believe He is who He says He is and what He can do or I don't. I am a believer or an unbeliever. In that moment I realized why we Christians get stuck in false religious ceremony...this is why we coast on other people's stories of miracles. We don't really expect to see the power of Jesus Christ practically lived out today. I want to expect amazing things that blow my mind and... I want to not be defeated by the common cold!

I have been led recently to pray for miracles and wonders and here I was accepting sickness. I will never gain the victory over what I will tolerate. Jesus offers us the exact power that He has! I won't tolerate this sickness anymore! I believe He is my healer, His will is for us to live in health. I believe it, I am healed.

But when Jesus heard this, He answered him, "Do not be afraid any longer; only believe, and she will be made well." Luke 8:50

Here is a video of the song Healer from Hillsong United.